...of summer with this boy!
I didn’t think I’d be saying this right now, but I am not
ready for it to be over.
For most of the
summer we’ve had different things to keep Louis busy;
but the last couple weeks have been pretty
slow and uneventful for
him, and even
more so busy for me.
To be completely
honest (for those who don’t know this already)
, being Louis’ mother is quite difficult for me.
Rob is soo good with him… he has no idea.
He always knows the right thing to say and
how to explain things to Louis when we are trying to discipline him or just explain things to him.
I, on the other hand, apparently talk gibberish.
Louis and I have a really hard time communicating with each
other and speaking the same language. We are very different and sometimes it drives me crazy! I
know God is using this and will help us grow in this area. But, that is never my first thought when we are in the middle of it! What saves us is (besides Rob chiming
in and helping me out) for me to really love on him and hug
and hold him. Louis needs this just as
much as, if not more than, my two year old.
I am really good at forgetting this… I often selfishly take advantage of
that little window of time in the afternoon when both girls are napping, to be
alone and rest or get something done, instead of asking Louis if he wants to
sit and read with me… or on the weekends, I go to the store by myself to get half an hour of
alone time, instead of asking him if he wants to go with me and getting that
one on one time with him to love on him and talk to him. He needs these times with me and I’ve begun
to realize that I need them too. Even
though I sometimes need the extra push from someone to do these things, I am
always so glad that I did it. I’m not
sure if it helps him or me more.
Being a mom is one of the things that I’ve wanted for as far
back as I can remember.
I always thought
I was going to be such a great mom… until I became one!
There are so many days that I feel so guilty
for not being the mom that Louis needs me to be.
I fail so often and sometimes fear that the
times that I don’t feel like I’ve failed, will not be enough to make up for when I do fail.
But then I remember that
God chose
me to be Louis’ mom and
that his purpose will prevail.
No matter how much I mess up, Louis is going to be who God created him
to be.
I know a day will come, when I am
least expecting it, that Louis will not want to sit and read with me, or won’t
want to tag along when I go to the store… he will have other things he’d rather
do than hang out with his mom.
I have
already lost so much time with him and there is such little time left…
only 7 more summers!
